Friday, May 23, 2008

Look, I'm still statuesque!

So my Day Job is pretty much project oriented at this point. In a nutshell, I'm given a specific product line and need to bring it to the web.
Management being what management is, they set expectations on roll-out dates.

Since I'm so optimistic, I've started naming my projects after American foreign policy blunders.

Currently I'm working on Viet Nam. Technically we should have been live in 'Nam some time in January. If you want to get really technical we should have been live March 2007 but we can blame the lying liar consultants who low-balled the project in the first place.
(as an aside - I think unfortunately all my goals are based on the assumptions that the turd blossoms made a year and a half ago - even though they failed to live up to any of them)
So, I'm in 'Nam, casualties are mounting, and there's no chance this administration is going to pull me out.

In fact, yesterday they launched the Bay of Pigs.
In 3 weeks the assassination attempt of Castro has to go off without a hitch, and we haven't even figured out where he lives or who's going to shoot him in the face.
Shit, we don't even know if shooting him's the right call. It might be poison. Or maybe just character assassination.
Point is, it's going to be a debacle.

My intial reaction to having to deal with both 'Nam and the Bay was to freak out, and stress over working 80-100 hours a week to get them done.
Then I realized that even if I worked 80 hours a week from here through July, these projects aren't going live on time.
I'm going to fail at every goal set for me on this project.
Some people might feel sadness or stress.
Me, relief.
I can fail at all my projects working 80 hours a week, but I can fail at all my projects working 40 hours a week, too.

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