Friday, May 16, 2008

Since I'm getting called emo

I'd like to defend my most recent post since a wag basically called me "emo" and complimented me as follows:
(9:18:28 AM) Some Jerk: hey the blog is looking pretty good
(9:18:40 AM) Some Jerk: even though the content is not so much
(9:25:24 AM) Our Hero: lol
(9:26:46 AM) Some Jerk: (we don't want to read about your happiness level that's what your finance is for)

Aside from the fact he meant "fiance", he missed the point of the post entirely.
(1) I'm not unhappy.
(2) It was all about perspective and perception.
Motivating yourself to avoid a situation is fundamentally different from attempting to reach goals.
A great example is drugs - after a period of time, drugs just aren't going to make you happy. They can numb you - they can make you not unhappy, but they can't really help you in becoming happy.
Exception: Ecstasy. That's basically its whole job. Unfortunately it fries the seratonin uptake receptors and makes you incapable of feeling happiness without it after a while, and you become a bipolar twat who likes rave music.

Over a long enough timeline, every drug stops working entirely. Prior to that is the dark times where it just gets you to "even" instead of shitty.

Another great example is working out and health in general. Running sucks. Lifting weights sucks. It does. It's not fun to fail. It's very frustrating when you're a 98 lb weakling in a 250 lb frame to know you're just a soft lump.

The short term avoidance of being unhappy shouldn't trump the longer term goal of happiness.

Anyway.
It was mostly a setup for a "can't touch my shoes" one liner that was mediocre at best.
But the whole idea of satisfaction and happiness has been bugging me for a while recently.

"Do what you love doing and you'll never work another day in your life."
It's a bullshit hackneyed aphorism that I'm not sure is necessarily true.
Example:
I love fucking. Seriously love to fuck.
Woooohoooo fucking!
Consequently maybe I'd love to be in pornography!
I try out, and find out I get severe AIDS stage fright whenever the hot lights are shining 3 inches from my junk.
I don't like this, I don't like doing it.

I think that's why I hate the "do what you love" bit. I love performing. LOVE IT. But most of the other bullshit - jockeying for stage time, getting jerked around for human pieces of waste that decided to book comedy, getting rejected by said pieces of waste, and the general bullshit of road comedy which seems just AWFUL. . . all that stuff sucks.
And to do it for $25,000 a year gross? SIGN ME UP!

Seriously, fuck that noise.

Anyhoo.

Comedy news:
I'm performing tonight at The Edge Comedy Club at 10:30 PM.
Eventually I'll pull together a calendar widget for the right-hand side of this page I suppose.
Maybe get my shit together and get a real headshot and comedy website.

But first I want to lose weight. That'll make me truly happy.
But working out will make me unhappy.
SHIT.

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