Thursday, October 9, 2008

October Ain't Shapin' up

Been tough to write a lot this month. Sorry my casual/faithful readers.

Time is the enemy. You never realize it in your twenties - you got shits to dos on a pretty regular basis, but filling your evenings with bullshit (say, World of Warcraft) is easy and you don't really get flustered. There's never a "Shit, there's NO TIME to do this!" moment in your twenties.

Alcohol + casual drug use + video games was really the sum of my existence. And comedy, but even that was a casual "I'll write if I feel like it. I'm gonna be HUGE!"

Nowadays, though . . . . man. A wife with a ticking biological clock, a career I'm not fond of but has stability and makes me a "provider", and a million hobbies/interests. Stand-up, writing, nerd-like software development (in my SPARE TIME. . . I'm a goon!), Secret Projects . . . where the hell am I going to fit in video games?!
Particularly with stuff like Warhammer: Age of Reckoning.
If there's one thing the Brits do a million times better than Americans, it's gritty dark fantasy. America was founded on Puritan Principles - while most of the founders were deists/atheists/not Christians, a significant amount of American then and now are Jesus-lovers.
So it makes a lot of the games industry here prudish when it comes to fantasy scenarios. As of Dungeons and Dragons 3.0, there was no longer references to Demons (Chaotic Evil) and Devils (Lawful Evil) and Daemons (Neutral Evil) . . . they instead became weird names that nobody gives a shit about nor remembers. It was a marketing decision - don't incorporate Christian theology into the game.
Not even Christian theology, really, I think it was primarily Catholic stuff that was invented by popes and the like. Asmodeus (King of the Devils), Be'elzebub (Lord of the Flies, once Lord of the Devils as Ba'alzebub), Betelgeuse, Hannah Montana. . . all of these monsters are gone.

But WARHAMMER - they not only invented their own, they made them fucking EVIL. I mean, ridiculously awful evil Gods of Chaos - Khorne: god of Blood and War, Sla'anesh: God(dess) of pleasure, Nurgle: god of Pestilence and Decay. . . . these guys are Not Fucking Around. (Except Sla'anesh, she'll fuck you to death or insanity. Sort of sexy.)

And now, with Warhammer Age of Reckoning, you can either fight the disciples of Chaos or become one and join in the battle!
And unlike the table-top game, it won't cost thousands of dollars!

There's not enough exclamation points to express my excitement. I give it 5 nerd boners.
But here's the rub - I don't have time to play this.

I wish I loved my job, and hated comedy. That would open up a world of time to be a slug; help the wife around the house an hour a night and play Warhammer the other 4 hours before bed.

But it doesn't work that way. . . bottom line is I'm not complacent right now, and need to find The Thing that makes me want to wake up every morning and WORK. More accurately, I have to convince people to pay me for the things I want to wake up to every morning. I already know what I want to do. I just have to figure out a way to make scads of cash doing it.

Maybe a Blowjobs and Jokes Comedy Show. But I probably can't get a bunch of people to blow me while I tell them jokes. Not for a cover-charge, anyway. And I'M not handing out blowjobs willy-nilly; my doc says I have to watch my sodium intake.

Side note - November is shaping up to be a busy month. The week of November 13th has me performing in multiple shows around the city for pay.
13/14 at the Lodge, the 15th at the Cornservatory opening for the Accountants of Homeland Security. If you're in Chicago I'd love for you to stop by one of the shows.
(and a week from Monday I'll be appearing at Ginger's Ale House. . . so hit up that one too if you'd like)

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