Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Disposable Lens Wipes

I use disposable lens wipes to clean my glasses at work; I bought a 30 pack to give them a month or two ago, and use a couple a week to keep my glasses clean.

They're pretty cool - kind of like a wet nap for your filthy lenses. The downside is you really need a lens rag to wipe up after them, or you get a bit of streaking.

But really, who gives a shit if they're effective? The real key is that any time I open one of them up, the fumes hit me and I can't help of thinking about ether.
There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of an ether binge. - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas)
If that's not a ringing endorsement. . .

So every morning I open one of these up to clean my glasses, I just want to bury my face in it and breathe deep. The only thing that stops me is the fact that there's no "if you concentrate and inhale these contents you may die" warning anywhere on the packaging. (Pro tip: That's how you can tell if an inhalant will work - shitloads of warnings against it. It will get you REALLY HIGH if it's got warnings. Or it will melt your lungs and you'll drown in your own blood. Don't say I didn't warn you.)
So far I've resisted since inhaling isopropyl alcohol doesn't seem to be something to really get you off. But god damn I need something to get me through the days at work in these troubled times.

Currently the way I'm getting through is with Black Mountain's In The Future. It'll have to do until I can smuggle in a jar of ether and some rags.

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