Thursday, July 30, 2009

Screaming Females and the Dead Weather

Sweet show last night.
Screaming Females front woman is a demonic combination of Grace Slick and Kerry King.
Band rocked.

Dead Weather's good but I agree that the singer gets sort of washed out in the supergroup's heavy sound.

Tonight I'm going to the top of the Sears Tower to stand in a glass box. This will cost me $30. It would cost $15 but I'm not waiting in line with the unwashed masses from Indiana. (get it? Masses?)

After that we're going to dine at the Publican. I assume we're going to eat the shit out of some pig. Figuratively speaking, of course.

In a third non-sequitur, the dungeons and dragons campaign is apparently stillborn, but I'm still painting dwarfs and goblins. Though right now I'm painting a Cryx Warjack.
May God have mercy on my soul.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Good, Yet Incompetent, Samaritan

A week ago Saturday was beautiful.
The only clouds were the kind that looked like animals.

This fine afternoon had neighbors out drinking pina coladas and strawberry daquiris in the backyard. My three cats are running around the yard. They pretty much work as follows:
Vlad: The youngest, he's also the most timid of the bunch. Only likes being outside if I'm outside, sticks close to the other cats or me. I've never seen him in the street.
Sylvester: The dumbest. His original name in the shelter was "Chopper". As expected, he lives most of his life through his mouth. One of his signature moves is standing in the corner of our bathroom, and scratching the tile over and over.
Lady: She's adventurous. I've found her 2 blocks over sitting in a garden. (50% chance she pooped in it) I've seen her scoot 6 feet up a tree, ears folded back on her head, look around wildly, then fall out of the tree. She's also the only meower of the bunch right now.

Mostly they just chase bugs, wander around the neighborhood, and act like little "land mines" for dog owners. (Dog owners sometimes miss the cat hiding in my too-long and needs to be cut grass. The dogs never miss them.)

This particular Saturday was exciting because a couple of bands were playing at my favorite burger joint in the city, Kuma's Corner.
Their 4th anniversary was on, and Clutch was headlining with Baroness opening for them. I was ready to head over after a pina colada.
I finish the drinks, and begin kitty wrangling.
It's easy 95% of the time; when they don't want to be caught you end up herding them towards the door.
Sometimes though, Lady goes on an adventure.

This time, I couldn't find her.

I looked from 5 PM to 7 PM before I got the text message, "Clutch is on!"
Then I muttered "fuck you, Lady" under my breath and went inside. I left both doors open until midnight, and went to each of them every half hour or so and looked around for her. Nothing. I closed the doors, turned off the lights, and went to bed.
She got out over Memorial Day as well, and was waiting at the door in the morning when I realized she was missing in the morning.
This morning, no dice. Nobody.

I walk around the block, making that kissy noise (tch tch tch tch) and calling her name softly. As I round the third corner to come home empty-handed, I notice a sign on both apartment doors.
I FOUND YOUR CAT!
IF YOU'RE MISSING A GREY CAT WITH GREEN EYES, CALL (773)###-#### AND DESCRIBE HER.
It's 6:30 AM. I called immediately.
I called about once an hour until he called me back at noon.
His story follows.
He saw the cat poking around his yard, and he assumed (wrongly) the cat was lost. Well fed and looking well taken care of, he assumed (rightly) that she had an owner.
Being the cat lover (he owns 2 himself) and fine upstanding citizen that he is, he decides to keep an eye on the cat. Unfortunately, he'd also made plans to see a movie at 5:30 PM. Since he wanted to help but didn't want to let a cat interfere with his plans, he made the perfectly logical choice of putting Lady inside his house where she'll be safe.
He prints up signs when he gets home later that evening and puts them up at the apartment and a house or two around here. (not mine)

When he was at the movie theater, he saved a girl with the heimlich maneuver. He thought she was choking to death from a popcorn kernel. Unfortunately, she'd only inhaled a little soda. She really didn't need the 3 broken ribs from the heimlich maneuver.

OK I made up the last paragraph.
The rest was true. I'm not really sure how I feel about it.
On the one hand, he thought he was doing me a favor. That's cool. But the cat was 3 door away from my house; this wasn't even adventurous for her yet.

Also, Pitchfork is going on now. We went last night but ditched before Built to Spill. Was really cold. Jesus Lizard fucking rocked, as did Yo La Tengo. Tortoise bores me to tears. Yes they're really good musicians and probably better than me at math and counting. But it's a big yawn to me.

Here's a picture of me from Pitchfork.