Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Girl you've got hourglass eyes

I uttered the words, "I didn't know what I wanted to do in college" for probably the billionth time today. I totally knew what I wanted to do - party my balls off.
Embarrassingly Banal Mission Accomplished.

I read about a teacher today in LA who had 90 pages of her blog pulled out as proof she wasn't teaching X% of the time. What the fuck.
So let's get some stuff out of the way about me:
I don't trust the corporation to keep my best interests at heart.
Consequently, I am a better mercenary than equity holder.

This holds a raft of implications with it.
Mostly, I get to carry grenades.

I'm easily distracted by horizontal rules. Look, here's another!

My wife is 5 months pregnant. (this should have been my first item I bet) I'm currently in a death-struggle to name him Raistlin if he's a boy. I'm unsure if I'm winning, and if that means my unborn child is losing. Personally I'd like to think it means nerds all over are winning. I also suggested Oscar but my wife has something against the people of Mexico.

If it's a girl, it'll probably be Winnie. My wife floated it first; I'm of the opinion that if her father is going to call her Winnie the Pooh (and Fuck yes I would) she's just got no chance in this world. She's also suggested Lottie - I like that one a lot because we first met at a bar named Lottie's. It's romantic and shit.
Plus it's a rare name that you never hear anymore. (Audience Wag: there's a reason for that)

I'm turning 36 this weekend, and finding out the sex of my child at the same time. Great birthday present. My wife and I need it so we can cut our arguments in half.

I should have started with Pol Pot and other dictators "if it's a boy". By the time I got to Raistlin she would have been relieved.

Seriously, Raistlin.

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