Monday, June 6, 2011

omg weiners

Well. Anthony Weiner's in a fair bit of trouble it seems. The only thing about it that angers me is Breitbart gaining credibility. He's not a journalist, but a hatchet man, and it stinks when he catches true. He's batting pretty good for a major league hitter - only two out of every three stories are fabricated. Not good reporter numbers, though. Think you're shooting for closer to 100% true. (Did we learn nothing from Season Five of the Wire?)

But this is about Weiner's weiner. The big damage is with him and his wife's relationship, but that's his business in privacy, not the public's.
So where's our stake? Should he resign?
I've been reading "he's compromised! He should resign!" a lot. A bit hyperbolic, I think. When the fuck did our standards get so high? Clinton actually received oral sex, he didn't just tweet about it.

I do think that was a pretty funny moment in the karmic sense - the one where Weiner clicked "Tweet" instead of "Private Message". The instantaneous realization of "Oh my god, I just fucked up terribly" while he pushed delete as hard as he could.
The sweats he must have been in until the story broke. The careful prevarications and verbal contortions about whether or not that was his wang. I'm sorry, weiner.
Just knowing it was spinning out of control. And the media. My god, the media. They're motherfuckers who carry water for the elite, and Weiner was unfortunately speaking truth to power. This is blood frenzy for them. Not even Sarah Revere's Moronic Ride can stop this one.

Some politicans do terribly here. They just panic. The first instinct is to hide the bodies. But for god's sake, don't do it alone. At the very least, pull your chief of staff or attorney in on this to tell you what the hell you should say.
"I can't tell for certain if that is or isn't my weiner" isn't a good sound byte ever.
Total aside: I would have been wishy washy in my denial too, that thing was a hog. "Sure it's the right size, but is it mine? Who can tell."

I don't have too much of a political problem with what he did - yes, he's probably dug a real deep hole in his marriage that he's gotta dig out of. He's probably not allowed to tweet any more, for starters. I'd imagine he's getting a blackberry for his next phone instead of something with a camera as well.
But it's none of our business.

What IS our business: Is he fit to serve?
Sure. Why the fuck not?
Vitter was nailing prostitutes. Maybe still is. Receieved a standing ovation when he returned to Congress.
I already mentioned Clinton.
Newt Gingrich needs no introduction, but Very Serious People think he should run for President.
But let's ignore the "look these guys do it too" since it's a bullshit deflection.

It's actually a stretch to include him in the company of the people above - his was cybernetic; no fluids were actually exchanged. It's the modern day equivalent of phone sex - it's weird but I don't really think it's sex.
You wouldn't brag about it in high school, for example.

You could argue it falls under "emotional cheating" which can be a Very Big Deal but it's between two people specifically. And it's hard to get concerned over a politician doing it. If you're going to make a politician resign because they're fucking someone symbolically, we have to fill over 500 seats in special elections, stat.

I figure the main thing we need to know is if he was being blackmailed and voted under duress because of it. If that happened then hell yes throw the bum out.

Otherwise, I think we should let his constituents decide at the polls.
But it was profoundly stupid to be throwing your weiner around on twitter, in a private message or no. Use Facebook so you can tag it.

Bias alert: You're god damned right I don't want him to resign because he's fighting for the little guys. But I would say the same if it were Eric Cantor tweeting pics. There's Bigger Things at Stake than some politician's personal life not conforming to the Judeo-Christian norms of our society. Eric Cantor should resign because his policies either betray a fundamental misunderstanding of governance or are political in nature designed to advance the needs of party over nation. He should resign for THAT.

Conspiracy Theorist Alert:
Establishment Democrats, who bow to the same paymasters as the Republicans and Media, will crucify him and force resignation. Because the truth of the matter is the powerful people are ruthless and you'd better be unimpeachable in character to stand a chance if you plan to take them on.

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