Sunday, July 24, 2011

should test this too I guess

There's soon to be Going Tharn and Technology Going Tharn. Make sure I didn't blow this site up building the other. (lol building)

Saturday, July 23, 2011

the most disappointing santa claus moment

There's a lot of Santa Claus moments in life - the myth-busting of things considered truisms. Santa's the first of many.
Other examples are the idea that your parents know everything, or the police are on your side*.
The one that I was happy to find out was that average penis size measurements you hear bandied about in your teens are erect sizes. It never felt so good to be average in my life. Junior year in high school, trigonometry class.
The Santa Claus moment that has hurt the most is the idea that older adults are smarter and know what they're doing. The first 20 years of my life this held true - older adults WERE smarter than I was. But that sort of plateaus as you reach adulthood.
Forty and fifty year olds have the potential to be wiser and more knowledgable than a thirty year old. But there is absolutely no guarantee. If you're a betting man, you're better off placing money that they aren't. The horrifying realization is not only is lack of learning the norm, most of the people in charge exhibit it because they were elected by the same idiots who don't think about anything for more than twenty minutes.
And they're steering the ship!

And wresting control from the idiots? Harder than it looks.
"When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him."
Jonathan Swift

* there are occasions where the police ARE on your side. But just because you're innocent doesn't mean you're not a suspect.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Not Wearing Pants

Because it's God Damn Hot.
Also because I'm on the internet, and that's what I do on the internet.
As an aside, work has taken away internet access.

I'm getting by, and trying to not take it personally even though they mentioned me by name in the update they pushed to only my computer.

It wouldn't have happened if they let me wear shorts and/or respected my new religious beliefs about the heat.

Religions get away with a lot of annoying bullshit that they will totally call YOU on if you attempt the same things they're doing.
That's unfair. You can't say "the Bible/Koran are real, but that Flying Spaghetti Monster is as much horseshit as was the Invisible Pink Unicorns."
Which is true, but they're just as valid as the old made up stuff written a thousand years ago.
Shit, it's better because it acknowledges the existence of atoms and pirates in the FSM texts*.

*shrug* the whole thing is stupid. Everybody's an atheist for one less god than an atheist. OK not the Hindus. They just incorporate the rest of the gods too. They're also believers in reincarnation so the most likely to be good stewards of the earth, instead of these horseshit martyr-happy Muslims or Armageddon-crazy Christians, neither of who give a fuck about the "temporary earth" that gives way to Heaven.

I'm not picking on the Scientologists because that's hilarious bullshit with an obvious con attached to it. Even the Catholics at their worst pre-reformation didn't try to take ALL your money.
(source, as if)

Jews probably bear some responsibility for being the spiritual fathers of both Islam and Christianity.

Buddhists I don't know about because I've never really met a jerk one. But the whole yin-yang seems like they're on to something. Because it's so pretty.

Think I got everyone that counts.
(somewhere in the distance, a lone tear falls down Mitt Romney's face. "You forgot the reason I'm unelectable in the general.")

* almost everything in that sentence is inaccurate, starting with the word atoms. Maybe with acknowledges. To play it safe, strike everything after because.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

remember when we called them benefits?

Now they're called entitlements.
Just like the estate tax is now the death tax.

When words change, they're about to fuck with whatever that word was.
Double plus ungood.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

still liking this living thing

second day in a row of knee deep immersion in the code-base I'm living in these days.
Figured out how to use 4 or 5 different widgets that should allow me to construct whatever I want.

The guys who built this out baked in support for the Visitor pattern and the Observer pattern.
I haven't had the need to use either yet but I swear to god it's like getting a new power drill.

(it's also model-view-controller based)

Sorry, they're probably all going to start a little technical these days. I just jumped from a job that was sucking the life out of me and had been doing so for the last decade.
I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong - the universal problem has been both me and the work.
I changed the work.
A huge sigh of relief when I found out I wasn't the problem.

I may recant, but right now I feel like saying Oracle Applications can go screw.
The rest of the stack I probably can't just shove in the toilet though. Java is one of my languages, after all ;)

I think it might just be the nerd in me, but Dragon's Milk is the best fucking beer ever.

Monday, July 18, 2011

something dumb where I'm from

This is a lake near where I grew up. I've caught fish on it (foot long pike!), I've stayed out all night on one of the islands, and waded through it when I was in junior high.

The article was kind of interesting to me because of my history.
It is almost certainly not interesting to you.


* composed in gVim

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Great Google+, now I have to worry about you

Quick hits today. Something longer than a tweet but not a fully formed essay should still go on the blog, but I'm tempted to put it on google plus.
It belongs here, and google plus should have visibility to here. That's the only acceptable answer, because otherwise they're just another captor service like Facebook and the rest of them.
They're trying to replace the little space you carve out on the web as "your own" and give you a service instead. It's easier, and it's free. Sort of.
It costs you, but most of us don't have to care.
(any comedians who do read this blog, take note: you're one of the people who need to care the most)
Services will come and go.

All of these guys will take the hard stuff away from you. But they'll also take away your ownership of what you're doing and anchor it to their service. All you really want these services to do is get more eyeballs on the work you're proud of. Which should be on YOUR website.

Because then all the drama and bullshit of the web services above closing or everyone abandoning them becomes merely inconvenient. Your body of work still exists somewhere, and the people who want to see it are out there too. You just have to figure out how to share your stuff on The Next Big Thing.

Music - Pitchfork Fest is this weekend. One of the reasons I didn't go was because I felt last year the sound wasn't so hot and the multiple stages didn't help. Fleet Foxes outside was like Yo La Tengo - one stiff breeze and the music is blown away. Worse yet was a band playing on the other side of the field at the same time - just seemed terrible.
I learned this morning that the fest has been on one stage all weekend.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Operation: Inoculation

Slayer cancelled their tour this year because their guitarist contracted a flesh eating bacteria. Everybody's talked about how metal that is, but nobody's talked about the groupie who gave it to him.
And I won't either because it's prurient, and invasive.
"She's got this zombie look going man, I've gotta nail her for the dark gods!"
Ok that's enough.

I fear flesh eating bacteria more than a lot of things. It sounds like something you'd have to be really dilligent about applying salves - I'm still living with athelete's foot I contracted in the tropics. In the 1980s. Flesh eating bacteria - man. Everyone would shake their heads around me. "This was totally preventable if he'd applied a salve and showered twice a day."

Ok enough of this nonsense, I have to mow the lawn.
I have a people powered rotary mower and if the grass gets too tall it becomes murderous, just rolling over the grass and not cutting it, so it stands back up an hour later. But it only happens for about a third of the blades so it looks like a terrible haircut . . . good times.
We're at that stage already, but the creeping charlie has taken over and choked out a lot of the grass, so it looks like it's well groomed.

I've become the guy who talks about his lawn.
I hope you're happy, life.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

blessed and cursed at once

Decoding the Stuxnet Virus on Wired. Saw it on slashdot first.

Great article, fascinating read on breaking down the virus and what it did. Really interesting to see the landscape of cyber-attacks manifest in the physical realm.
Wizardy, indeed.
It also explains our government's earlier statement regarding cyber attacks as "acts of war" a little bit hilarious. Slug-a-bug, no hit-backs!
Did we just go to war with Iran too?

So the formula's not constant war (cold/hot) with another large superpower, it's a million little wars with these shitty little countries on Israel's behalf?
Ok, very unfair. Libya's more about something else not exactly Israel, and Iraq was about oil. Iraq might play out (god forbid I say it) to be a strategically sound place for America to be if oil's way closer to running out than we know.This seems likely.

It would be hilarious if Bush is vindicated by history for invading Iraq. I'd eat my crow happily, I think.
Other than the whole we're fucked because we ran out of oil, we're guarding the last of it with our military while Iraq perfects its nuclear bomb, and Michelle Bachman decides that's just like that part in the bible and pressing the button will make the Rapture happen. . .

You're right, I should turn this into a horror blog.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Please win in Iowa, Michelle Bachman

Please win.
Please, please, please win.

I'm basing this on the premise that the public hasn't gone that stupid, and a candidate as scary as Michelle won't be accepted by the semi-rational (read: non-Christian Fundamentalist) Republicans who would either sit the presidential out or vote for Obama.

I don't think it gets that far though; I think her Chickens for Checkups moment will come prior to the general and she'll flame out spectacularly.

But who cares? How infuriated must Mitt be? She's an idiot. Mitt actually is a pretty decent representative of a rational conservative (these days, heh) and the best shot at actually governing. And he's used to the health care plan *winky face*.
This crazy comes along and will pummel him for not being conservative enough, force him to tack right into crazy town for his base, and eliminate any chance HE has in the general.

But the best part of Bachman winning, is what it'll do to Sara Palin.
They're the same people but one of them has the weight of office and a relevant(ish) political bid, and the other quit her first term as governor.
And it'll drive Palin (and Bachman) BONKERS.

Seemed appropriate.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

vlad the killer

"At least it's not birds," I thought when I brought the shovel down on the mouse's body once, twice, three times to make sure it was dead.
Second one in as many days I had to do that to. Not as bad as the baby rabbit he brought home, but still not great.

My worry is where the hell is he finding these mice? Are they in our compost? our neighbors' compost? One of the other houses on the block (I hope)?

The hilarious thing is I'm not sure if Vlad expects me to chase him away and then kill them. He's bringing them home, "look I found a new friend I'm going to love and squeeze and call him George."
And then I race in and smash them with a shovel.

Speaking of smashing them with a shovel - is there a better way to put these poor bastards out of their misery? I feel bad doing it the way I've been doing it, but it's a quicker death than exposure. And the mice just cannot get away, period. The bunny I'd probably turn my head and let run away if it was old enough, but the mice are dead men walking in my lawn. That's why I have cats.

Also, I like their dumb antics.

This is Sylvester the not so much killer.

And here's Vlad.

Friday, July 8, 2011


Wow. Google just changed blogger's interface pretty dramatically.
I had to switch to HTML to get a TEXTAREA html node. (this is important as the ItsAllText firefox extension keys off of those nodes and is what allows me to launch a vi window as my text editor.
Srsly. vi.
It's a little bit harder than programming which typically has line breaks around 80 characters. Writing paragraphs put multiple sentences on one "line". The J and K keys (which normally control up and down) become less useful, and using f and F on periods is more efficient. (allows you to jump from sentence to sentence) Mouse based editing might be better for this sort of writing, I'm unsure.

OK enough technical claptrap.

Did I lose everyone? Let's talk about marijuana!
Just kidding. Drugs are bad!
Even if they're less harmful than alcohol, decrimmed in certain states, and generally an easy thing to cultivate for yourself if the laws prohibiting it weren't so crazy harsh.
I would love to see a culture similar to craft beers come about for marijuana botany. That would be sweet.
But that won't happen for at least a decade or two, unless BP decides they want to sell dope.

So I guess our only choice is to write BP and ask them to consider lobbying congress to grow and distribute marijuana in the United States.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

I sort of sympathize with that Casey Anthony lady

So my dumb nutshell opinion is Casey Anthony probably went out partying leaving her baby in the car, then the car got towed w/baby in it, and was dead when she got the car back. Nothing groundbreaking, I'm sure. Sad and stupid and senseless, really.

I have this technical website - it's not something I've been going to much because my last job had shifted non-technical and even when it was technical it was all proprietary extension design. There wasn't anything that was generic enough to write about in my mind.

Now that I'm solving a lot of technical tasks with python . . . there's lots to talk about. I'm doing hilariously bad things that wreak havoc with my whole day.

But they don't really belong here I think. Maybe they do. Fuck if I know.
I don't think they do. I don't want to point employers here. Interviewing and house staging are pretty similar; it's best if you're beige.

So I go to my old site, and it's overrun. 700 posts waiting comments. I moved the hosting to a ruby site some time ago when I was playing with RoR, and forgot about it and most of the details. I do know it's a bitch to update the blog software. And I don't know my login anymore because I'm awesome.

That website is my dead baby in the car. And I don't really want to deal with it either.
Am I one for analogies or what?