Thursday, July 21, 2011

Not Wearing Pants

Because it's God Damn Hot.
Also because I'm on the internet, and that's what I do on the internet.
As an aside, work has taken away internet access.

I'm getting by, and trying to not take it personally even though they mentioned me by name in the update they pushed to only my computer.

It wouldn't have happened if they let me wear shorts and/or respected my new religious beliefs about the heat.

Religions get away with a lot of annoying bullshit that they will totally call YOU on if you attempt the same things they're doing.
That's unfair. You can't say "the Bible/Koran are real, but that Flying Spaghetti Monster is as much horseshit as was the Invisible Pink Unicorns."
Which is true, but they're just as valid as the old made up stuff written a thousand years ago.
Shit, it's better because it acknowledges the existence of atoms and pirates in the FSM texts*.

*shrug* the whole thing is stupid. Everybody's an atheist for one less god than an atheist. OK not the Hindus. They just incorporate the rest of the gods too. They're also believers in reincarnation so the most likely to be good stewards of the earth, instead of these horseshit martyr-happy Muslims or Armageddon-crazy Christians, neither of who give a fuck about the "temporary earth" that gives way to Heaven.

I'm not picking on the Scientologists because that's hilarious bullshit with an obvious con attached to it. Even the Catholics at their worst pre-reformation didn't try to take ALL your money.
(source, as if)

Jews probably bear some responsibility for being the spiritual fathers of both Islam and Christianity.

Buddhists I don't know about because I've never really met a jerk one. But the whole yin-yang seems like they're on to something. Because it's so pretty.

Think I got everyone that counts.
(somewhere in the distance, a lone tear falls down Mitt Romney's face. "You forgot the reason I'm unelectable in the general.")

* almost everything in that sentence is inaccurate, starting with the word atoms. Maybe with acknowledges. To play it safe, strike everything after because.

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