So for a while there I thought I couldn't brush my teeth, because my front tooth's dead from an accident long ago. I didn't know it was dead, I thought I was terrible at brushing.
Imagine the weight lifted off my shoulders.
Multiple dentist visits later, and they tell me "you should buy a nice mechanical toothbrush" which is the gentlest way of saying "you suck at brushing your teeth, and you're an adult."
I bought one, and use it every day. It turns out I sucked brushing my teeth. I would finish in 15-20 seconds, long enough to fill my mouth a bit with foam and wash out the taste of the day's food and drink.
That's not actually brushing. The new one I have times me - every thirty seconds it emits a little pulse and I move on to another quadrant of my mouth.
It feels like I'm brushing forever. But the dentist said "this is the best your mouth's ever looked."
So it turns out machines do that better, too.
I don't know how to feel about the fact I have been brushing wrong for like, 20 years.
Fearful of what else I'm failing miserably at, oblivious of my ineptitude.
I'm probably wiping wrong.