Friday, March 30, 2012

friday phew

Go live.
It makes me want to write five sentences that have business jargon splattered all over it. I deleted one that used "stakeholder".
The only way it would have been an appropriate sentence was "I was the stakeholder so I had to kill the vampire."

And I've had to do no such thing lately.
So vampires have been big, witches were sort of a thing for a while, wizards are probably a fading thing these days unless Rowling pulls something out of the air, the Onion made a call but I'm not buying it any more than their article on the Abortionplex, even though it seems completely plausible.

And we can't forget zombies.

So what's next?
Ghosts?
I hope it's Robotech during the Invid invasion. Cyclones!


Tuesday, March 27, 2012

less talkie talkie more typey typey

Mad Men season opener was pretty good. Writing was sharp, Roger vs Lord Flouncey is great. Rooting for Roger even though he's doing jack compared to Lord Flouncey Primpalot.
Lord Flouncey annoys me, hence his name.

I think Camel (is that RJR Nabisco?) figured out a brilliant way to get a cig ad on TV. That's been disallowed since I was a kid, but they just brazenly did a product placement with a perfect shot at the Camel cigarette pack as one of the young guys in the office (I forget his name, he's the new guy) smoking and turning the pack in his hands. Young, healthy, laughing and smoking while putting the pack away.
Somebody in that marketing department deserves a raise.

Anyhow. Have work to do.
Don't see me complaining to the boss.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

couple of dumb random political observations

Pretty sick of a couple things politically.

I love that the same party that passed laws against Sharia Law in multiple states ALSO is waging the whole "freedom of religion" card in the health care battle.

And on the other side of the fence, the reasons I dislike Obama are the same reasons Rs should vote for him. Mega tough on defense and terrorism. Believer in extension of power of the Executive branch. He fucking assassinates US Citizens Like A Boss.
He's using a Secret Executive Interpretation of the law to act unilaterally in the name of defense.
All this sort of thing is perfectly OK for Republican Interests.

Hell, that's half the reason I bet the Rs didn't muster a credible candidate this election cycle - why would they need to? Despite all the rhetoric, Obama's a centrist implementing primarily Republican initiated plans.
Sheesh.

Finally, Fuck the Referees in the MSU vs Louisville game.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

keeping the streak alive

it's either write a dumb post or play binding of isaac (BofI), and frankly that game is killing me.

First: It is a legend of zelda clone. This is HUGE to me. Zelda was the first video game I played that just blew my mind.
"Wait, it saves where I am and I continue playing LIKE IT IS D AND D?!"

Finding the white sword. . . finding the magic sword. . . beating Ganon. . . WHAT DO YOU MEAN SECOND QUEST?!

Just amazing memories.
And this is a clone, strumming the notes of nostalgia through a twisted, malformed instrument.

See, BofI takes the game play of Zelda and refracts it through a prism of dark Old Testament lore. It's about the story of Abraham and Isaac - God tells Abraham "kill your kid" and then right before Abraham does it, God jumps in, "What the hell are you doing? I was ONLY KIDDING! JESUS!"
That was paraphrased. To anyone religious who somehow tolerates my writing, I'm aware of the hilarious juxtaposition of Abe/Isaac and Jesus The Christ. (to anyone unaware, probably most of you - the Abe/Isaac story in Christianity is a symmetry to Christ. Abraham is asked to give up his only child, because God is going to do that in a couple of thousand years) The funniest part (to me) is that neither of the cases represent justice. A god demanding the sacrifice of a follower's child is no god to follow, ('Tis better to reign . . .) nor is the sacrifice of Jesus to atone for all of our sins any form of justice.

Sorry, I ranted. Binding of Isaac. It looks at that story in another manner; and it's terrible and perverse, and funny. But it is dark. Worse with a newborn. Even worse when the final ending is revealed, as it was to me in spoiler form.
It's so terrible I have trouble playing it because of the cut scenes.

But man is the game fun.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

spirited debate

I was at work, describing a syntax I remember reading about, but can't remember where.
"Isn't that how you do this in python?"
"No, but that's how you'd do it if it was math."

So I'm not sure. I was dumb and smart all at once. That probably just evaluates to dumb, but complicated.

This should possibly be in tech but I didn't want to describe the syntax so you're all stuck with it.

OK Fine I'll write one more thing.

So we ran out of time for being wishy-washy about parenting, and went for it last year.
For starters, Lottie is great. I characterized babies as "eating shitting machines" prior to having my own. That's a part of it, sure. But changing a kid's actually pretty fun - they do it so often they know what's coming up, and are enjoying the time with you. (With a boy this may be different; aiming the pecker is innate to our biology and hitting things with urine is a favorite pastime of almost a third of the male population, and I estimate conservatively)

But the pooping/shitting/sleeping becomes less and less who they are, and more time is them "booting up". It's like the linux boot sequence, listing everything in order.
Breathing, check
pooping/peeing, check (this sometimes comes ahead of breathing, as ours did)
Vision, check with problems - out to five feet, black and white only
Motor skills - "WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE LEGS AND ARMS"
Hunger - my stomach's the size of a pea. OF COURSE I'M HUNGRY!
...
And everything gets a little bit better, day after day. They figure out their hands (vaguely, still pull a "why are you hitting yourself?" a fair amount) and start seeing more, red and yellow coming next. To me this was rather annoying because of this tool lyric:
black and white are all I see
in my infancy
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me
lets me see
There's all this debate about the lyric because the following lyrics are alchemical in nature, but I'm sorry, Maynard took a baby class and snowed all of us.

But back to babies, and not the no-clothes wearing emperors of profundity known as Tool.

The thing I started out saying is this: Lottie IS great. There's a lot of reward here already, and I am happy about my choice.
But it is a damn scary choice to make.
You can dabble in painting. "I think I want to paint!"
Nobody's going to make you do it for eighteen years.
And if you're bad at it for the first eight years and start not caring for your brushes, the state doesn't step in and take your paints away, and everyone looks at you as an asshole because your sable brushes were ratty as shit - no, nobody actually cares that much that you quit painting.

I sort of painted myself into a corner with that analogy, didn't I? I have to assume you inferred parenting is the counterpoint so I can't say that without sounding patronizing and/or condescending. Time to break the fourth wall I guess - oh look, I already did that when I changed voices. Fuck, that was condescending. I am sorry, Dear Reader. (I address you singularly, and thank you heartily for hanging in there. I promise you the payoff hasn't been thought out at all, much like the rest of this prose)

Parenting isn't something you get to dabble in. It's jumping in head first and praying it's deep enough to not break your heart.
It's just... scary.
I don't know how to articulate it. My neighbor across the alley is an old Irishman. I ran into him the other morning for the first time since Lottie was brought home. His well wishes were thus:
"Congratulations on your little one. So you know what that's all about now."
He smiled, and I knew what he meant.
Roughly.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I'm no anti-dentite

Dental appointment went OK. Flossing works for the most part. But when they tell you "floss every day" and you still floss every other day, to see if they'll notice, well. . . it's not their mouth. But they notice.
"Try to get up to every day," which doesn't seem like it should be herculean but fuck me.

And if you floss like TWICE A WEEK in your twenties you basically don't run into this problem.

What scares me is what's lurking for my forties. Not too far off.
My balls will probably drop to my knees because I've been jerking off wrong this whole time, and just never shared techniques with anyone to find out I wasn't doing it right.

I'm pretty sure that's not it, but it was an example that I hope happens to this guy I know.

Monday, March 12, 2012

I may have anxiety disorder

I have that, or hypochondria, or cancer, or a canker sore.
I'm going to the dentist tomorrow so it should be all straightened out.
Except for my teeth because that would cost thousands of dollars.

In my twenties I didn't pay my student loans or floss.
I was twenty-five before the student loan thing caught up to me, but I made it into my thirties with the flossing.
My recommendation to anyone who reads my blog: don't do this.
The main reason you shouldn't do this (other than all your teeth falling out of your head way early) is you have to go through this process where they scrape your gums down with this tartar spike.
It's so bad they numb your face up for it. Not pleasant.
So unpleasant, my reaction was, "Hey dentist how can I stop you from doing that to me?"
"Floss. And I might do it anyway."
Well shit.

So: Pay your student loans and floss till you bleed, or they'll pull your teeth out.